Incoherent Thoughts

Happy valentine ' s to me

2284

Hay. Away nanaman. Potang buhay to. Ang nakakainis pa naman pag may kinaiinisan sya yung tipong ultra-weird na bagay. Pota talaga. Bwisit. Gusto ko syang pagmumurahin eh. Sa point na to, baka mapatay ko siya. Awa naman ng diyos, sa dinami dami ng beses na gusto ko na syang patayin hindi naman natutuloy. At, ha, pakialaman ba kung ano ang binoblog ko? Pucha, blog ko kaya 'to. WAG MO KONG PINAKIKIALAMAN HA. Ang engot ko rin naman kasi kung bakit ba binigay ko sa kanya yung URL. Ewan. Tanga ako eh. Ang inisip ko noon isa itong way na mas makikilala nya ako kasi mas open ako dito. Saka nahihirapan kasi ako magsabi kung ano yung nafifeel ko kaya sabi ko: Sige, ibigay ko na lang yung URL ng blog ko para at least ma-gets nya ako. Eh pucha naman... imbis na ma-gets nya ko minsan ito pa yung source ng away. PUTAKTE. Hay. Parusa talaga. Ewan. Mas masaya pa ako nung di ako umibig eh. YAAAAAAAAAAAAK. Kadiri. Did I just say that? Hahaha. Yak. Pwe pwe pwe! Basta. Lecheng puso 'to. In fairness, parang ilang linggo na rin kaming di nag-aaway. Akala ko pa naman tuloy tuloy na. HAY PUCHA. Kung sino man nagsabi na di magulo ang lalake, pwes, mga bading kayo. Mas masahol pa sa babae ang mga lecheng lalakeng yan.

Flowers

Why in the world would I be thinking about flowers right now? I actually got off the bed to write about it because, well, because I felt compelled. I like flowers. I like to visit botanic gardens whenever I'm in the US and head straight for the flowery areas because I like being surrounded by flowers. I like to take pictures of them, too. It feels good to receive flowers, too, diba? It feels especially good when you get flowers just because. I used to receive arrangements from R when we were still together. I remember how giddy I was whenever the security guard on our floor would call me to get the arrangement R sent. I liked the attention. I also liked how sweet he was to send me flowers for no reason at all. It made me feel... noticed. By R, ha. He was also the last person to send me one. It's been too long (2007). Now I find that I would like one. Just because.

Emo

It's past 12 a.m. and here I am sitting on a bench outside my block, enjoying the breeze, thinking about the wonderful day I just had. I may have been bored to death at work but outside of it is a different story. I don't know where to begin telling you all how I feel. I'm happy and weepy at the same time. I'm not weepy because I'm sad. Quite the opposite actually. But I also feel scared. What if someone sees I'm too happy and takes all this away from me?