It's past 12 a.m. and here I am sitting on a bench outside my block, enjoying the breeze, thinking about the wonderful day I just had. I may have been bored to death at work but outside of it is a different story.
I don't know where to begin telling you all how I feel. I'm happy and weepy at the same time. I'm not weepy because I'm sad. Quite the opposite actually.
But I also feel scared.
What if someone sees I'm too happy and takes all this away from me?
I don't know what's wrong with me. It seems odd that I don't have posts for the past few days - no rants , no people to curse to hell and back, no nada.
The mojo jojo is stuck in the abyss of laziness.
I seriously wanted to post from my phone but the non-mobile version of WP doesn't load properly on the mothereffing iPhone. I still question my good sense in getting this piece of junk. Anyway, the good news is I will be getting an Android - not any time soon, but I will nevertheless.
Work is the same. BORING.
My personal life is, well, the same. I'm getting old and that's all there is.
My family... let's not go there. Yesterday was a bad day because my dad was being his irritating self. I feel sad and sorry for my mom for having to put up with him. I don't think I can.
It's the middle of the work week and I so want it to be over. Next week is Chinese New Year week and I only work for 2 days (hopefully). It's gonna be a long weekend! Hmmm, what to do?
Today was another boring day. The good news is that I spent most of the afternoon reading an ebook of Emily Giffin. I'm waiting on the output from a couple of engineers and since it's not available, what am I to do?
Oh, one of the highlights of today was lunch. We checked out this Thai "resto" near work and turned out they had pretty good food. The servings were huge for Singapore standards. Best of all, the price was okay. I mean really okay. I got an avocado milkshake, too! I don't ever pass up the chance to get an avocado milkshake if it can be had, the reason being is that the avocado they sell in the supermarket look weird. I have not attempted to buy them for fear I might not be able to eat them.
Another highlight is the surprise I received in the mail when I got home today. I got a Christmas card from Kri! She also sent me an iPhone cover - so sweet, yeah?
I have wanted to donate blood for years! Years!!! Okay, that's not exactly true. I've been wanting to donate blood since BC told me he did it yearly. BC, who I am sure you don't know, is someone I used to work with in Lxk (HP's competitor - yes, the printer brand). He's married (I know! Collective eye rolling, everyone.) and I am close to him. We haven't spoken or written to each other in over a year but I know that if or when we do, it'd be like the old times. When I left Lxk, I wrote to him now and again just to catch up. He always wrote back. I think he called me once, too, and that was so cool (not to mention sweet) and gave me feelings of giddiness in the months after.
Crap, I got sidetracked again.
Anyway, like most of the things I do, which seem to be inspired by whoever inspires me, I said to myself I will or would like to try donating blood. BC told me doing it not only helps others, it also lets your body regenerate fresh blood. I could launch into a whole new story about why I think I need that but let's not do that right now. Lxk had yearly blood donation drives, which for some reason I never got to participate in.
The whole donating blood business flies out of my mind when I come back to work in Manila.
Enter Singapore.
I first saw a poster about blood drives at the church I used to go to when I lived in the east. It was scheduled for August last year, but I never got to go. Again. Last week, I saw fliers in the office building about a blood drive happening next week. They listed a website and I checked it out. Turns out there are other schedules for blood drives, and this particular one happens to be today at the community center a stone's throw away from my place. And so I decided I would do it because, really, when am I ever going to make the time? It was now or never. But while I was at the mall this morning and while loitering (yep, that's mostly what I did), I kept visualizing how the whole donating process would be like. And then I suddenly thought about needles and how big they would be - I got scared, man. So when I finally got my ass to the community center, I sat on one of the benches outside the hall for about 30 minutes thinking about whether I could brave what I imagine to be a very huge needle. I'm not kidding - I really did spend 30 minutes thinking about this. In the end, my desire to donate won and I went in, filled out the form, and got checked and all.
So here it comes…
I was asked to sit on one of the lounges while the nurse looked for a vein to stick the needle in.
Right arm propped - couldn't find one.
Left arm propped - she found one!
Another few seconds pass and then she says, "I'm sorry, I found a vein but it is too small."
My face crumples.
They use a really big needle because they get 4 mils (I think that's what I heard. I'm not sure how that translates to human speech hehe.) and they need the vein to be able to accommodate the needle. Otherwise they would not be able to collect what they need and bruising might occur - and they'd really like to avoid that. The nurse said if they went through with it, blood would flow but would eventually stop. What I would end up giving would only be thrown out. She advised that if I really do want to do it, to come back in 6 months to a year's time and in the meantime to do some weights or something to help with the veins. She's not sure weight lifting would do anything for the veins, but that it's worth a try.
Sigh. I really did want to give blood today.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/artist?a=GxdCwVVULXfxSiWNrB3Q-Ll0gKrW-YML&feature=watch]
I went to the dentist today as planned to get the tooth that was bothering me looked at. Turns out nothing was really wrong with it, except its neighbor tooth's filling has a hole in it. I need to get that fixed but it's not too urgent...
Because the other tooth on the left side has a hole bigger than the other one - and this needs to get fixed ASAP. It's still using the old filling of yesteryears - the metallic gray one? You remember that? Yup, that's what's still on it. I'm scheduling dental "operations" after Chinese New Year because my teeth need it. I'm getting a ceramic filling and having a "useless" wisdom tooth removed. And another tooth on the same side needs a filling, too. All this is gonna set me back what costs to get an iPhone 4 without a contract. It's as much as getting a new laptop. :(
But I think I should get this done right away so I don't have to worry about it later on. I was thinking to get it done in the Philippines, but the cost of the plane ticket plus the dental appointments are just about the same here. It doesn't make sense to fly back home. Plus, when I got a tooth with some problems filled, the thing took maybe 5 minutes. It was super duper fast and I had none of the discomfort I used to feel when I got this done in the PI. Of course when they sort of grind against your teeth it still feels awful, but it wasn't too bad because it was only for a few seconds.
Sigh. I gotta tighten the purse strings after this.
That somehow seems like it's spelled wrong.
A tooth has been bothering me this entire week. It's that tooth my dentist said had a cracked filling. I should have just taken the time to get it done when I was in Manila but I was always rushing off somewhere. And so now I suffer. Tomorrow I hope to get a dentist to work on this. I hate getting fillings. I hope it doesn't hurt as much as it did when I got this done before.
I have been nursing a headache for the past 7 hours. I just want to be able to stop crying and stop hurting. :-(
Please....
And more drafts.
I didn't realize I had 15 drafts - all trapped in the drafts section of this blog. Yikes.
Should I even bother looking through them and publishing them? Even when I'm not sure I'd be able to continue what I had started writing? Some may even have nothing in it at all - except for a title. And maybe not even then.
I feel like writing right now because I'm in a highly emotional state. The problem with that is I'm even more incoherent when I'm emotionally charged.
I wish I could be like other people who seem to have an easy time of writing. They type away and the words and thoughts just flow cohesively. I wish I were more like that. Even when I concentrate or focus, I have a hard time being cohesive.
Sigh.
This is a recurring thing for me. I think about writing and I wish I were better at it.
The donut peaches I just had for dinner (together with an apple) was superb. AMAZING. I have never had peaches this sweet before. Never. (Not unless you count the canned ones.)
They were absolutely amazing. I swear. I was kind of hesitant to eat it because I've always had bad luck picking peaches. I get sour ones, and when I'm really unlucky I get the super sour ones. So imagine my surprise when I bit into one and tasted the sweetness - I almost moaned. Haha!
Now I can't wait to have the other two for breakfast. It's sad that I had to throw out 2 of them as they'd gone bad - it was 6 in one packet and I didn't see some had gone bad when I bought it. Must be why they were selling cheap.
I gotta find more of this!
Photo courtesy of Tea & Cookies.
