Incoherent Thoughts

Happy valentine ' s to me

My attempt to write about 2010

I have thought about recapping my 2010 since forever, but haven't had the chance to do so. I got busy. And whenever I was in the right mood to write, I never got around to doing it because I couldn't get myself to say everything. Well, today is a different day. My brain seems to want to cooperate with what my heart desires. Or is it the other way around? January 4, 2010  was the day I set foot on Sing-land only to be greeted by the hottest gust of air in my entire history of traveling (not that I've done much). Come to think of it, I don't remember there being a gust of air. It was more like stepping out of the cool cocoon that is the airport terminal and into the largest oven. It was hot and way more humid than I'm used to.  I find myself surprised to find a country that surpassed Metro Manila in the heat and humidity index. The nice thing about my first encounter with Singapore was that I didn't have to walk far to get a cab. I also knew I didn't have to worry about cab drivers screwing me, which is something that cannot be said for Metro Manila. As we coasted along the road that led us out of Changi Airport, I found myself thinking about whether I did the right thing. Was I right to leave behind a career that I'd worked hard to establish? To leave my country with the thought that I will not work there again? To start again in a different place, which I've done before (Cebu) only this time I won't have my father's money to fall back on? My emotions alternated between feeling excited and mega scared all at the same time. When I moved to Cebu to escape a bad memory in Manila and to try living on my own, I wasn't worried because Manila was only an hour's plane ride away. And my dad was doing well with his business so if things didn't go well with my move, or if I really hated the place and wanted to move back, it was all just a simple matter. I didn't have any worries. The decision to move to Singapore was something that bugged me even after I'd made the move. I was pressured by the head hunter to move as soon as possible and I pressured myself into making a change. It was all very chaotic and I have to say I could've done a better job leaving my country and the company I worked for if I wasn't the stupid woman that I was and gave in to the pressure that was mostly self-inflicted. My first two days in Singapore were difficult if not downright nasty. Spottiswoode Park, the area where the head hunting agency's private apartment was, felt too cramped. The houses (landed ones) were small and there didn't seem to be enough space to keep you away from other people. It really made me claustrophobic and I'm not claustrophobic. It seemed like it was an older part of town. I felt out of place even though I knew lots of Pinoys were about (conversations were carried out in Tagalog, that's how I knew). Eating at the hawker center was a new experience for me. Hawker centers are local food courts here. I was uneasy and more than a little apprehensive buying food from there for the first time because it didn't look clean. But I had to eat and I couldn't find a McDonald's in the vicinity so I had no choice. I didn't enjoy my food much because I was too scared to get sick or die from the germs that seemed to inhabit the hawker stalls, not to mention the chingchong folks that liked to sneeze or cough without covering their mouths (talk about unsanitary). Then night came and the area seemed to come alive for some reason. There were no nearby bars or clubs, at least none that I saw, but it just seemed noisier. It bugged me. The street was also too lit up. I couldn't sleep. I am not sure I slept at all but I woke up early the following day and hastily messaged a college friend. My friend knew I was moving to Singapore and offered that I stay with her. I didn't want to, initially,  because I didn't want to be an inconvenience. But after that horrible first night, I knew I had to move. I was slated to stay for two weeks at the head hunter's private apartment but I moved out after a night's stay. The first company I worked for turned out to be bad. Every week there were changes, changes that didn't make any sense to me. I have been employed in companies that made sure decisions and the rationale behind them were transparent to employees. If times are unstable, I think you have to make sure your employees understand where they stand, and what you're doing to make sure your business stays on top. If you're going to make cuts to the headcount, you at least let people know that this is a possibility. Emerson did it. We (employees) knew what was going on. I may not be a business-minded person, but I don't think it takes a management degree or an economics degree to understand how important this is. I'm not sure which zoo the managers in this company graduated from, but it sure as hell was obvious they couldn't tell their heads from their butts. Sure, this period was the year after the markets started capsizing and I could understand how circumstances were still unstable... but pushing products to the market without it undergoing proper testing is absurd - it's also super duper stupid. You would have to be the biggest boob on earth to do this. And, my goodness, they didn't seem to have customers at all! None of the employees have records of data that tell them how their product is used in the field. They keep developing and redeveloping the system, building function on top of functions, but they did not have user data. How totally weird is that?! I wasn't even two weeks in the company and I could smell the scent of death wafting from the netherworld. Being a contractor (my first time, mind you. my employment in the years past were always regular, meaning I was converted to a full-time, permanent employee after 6 months of probation), I was excluded from some activities, be they meetings or updates from management, that the powers that be deemed unnecessary for me to attend. Let me say I took offense to that approach because whatever they discussed in the meetings were absolutely necessary for me to know because it affected my stay in the company. I want to know if their ship is keeling over so I can bail as soon as possible. But, no, I was kept in the dark. If it weren't for the regular employees that I was semi close to, I wouldn't even know about things. Needless to say, it was another point against the company. This tactic further pushed me away from seeing the good in them. Then came news of two of the higher ups resigning. This was after they had come to Singapore to hold meetings with the employees, contractors excluded. This drove people wondering what the hell was going on? No one had a clue, it seemed. But people, including me, were feeling uneasy. The business wasn't doing great. I didn't need Finance to tell me they weren't making money. Not enough to keep the business going anyway. But still they kept building onto the system. Even when all they had for "customers" were prospects. We were building for no one. Or at least building for a "someone" that we weren't sure was gonna buy into it. The funny thing is, before I accepted their offer to work here, I asked if there was a possibility to be made a permanent employee. They said there was. That they were looking to absorb two people. So what's funny, you ask? I did make the cut to be absorbed. My manager pushed the paperwork to get me on board, but upper management was dawdling. With the resignations of two of the senior VPs, the fate of the company was still up in the air. The rest of management kept everyone in the dark. They promised a meeting a month after the resignations, but the meeting didn't take place until two months after. And so two months after I was told I was going to be absorbed, senior management tells the Singapore office that they will transfer development to India. Operations in Singapore will cease in two months. I must say that even with all the negative vibes I had, and all my talk about hearing the death knell, I had hoped that I was wrong. You see, I wasn't looking to move companies that soon, even though theirs sucked. I was still trying to get myself used to my new life in Singapore, and even when I was contemplating bailing less than 6 months of being in the company, I couldn't make myself do it because it felt like throwing myself in the ocean once again without any life vest. My plan was to put up with the shit at work and work at making myself get acclimated to Singapore and its annoying culture. But you know life likes to throw you a curve ball, right? After they announced they were closing the Singapore office, I literally couldn't sleep. I must have prayed to God and all the saints I could remember to help me through this crisis. I was a mass of nerves and it showed. I was grumpy, easily irritated, and I swear I hissed like a cat at people that were not even the least bit annoying. Someone at work (a fellow writer) would come up to me to ask about something inane, or something about work that I think he or she should know, I grumble and tell the person to just sit and be pretty coz I'll do what they can't do. I'll do what they should know how to do and in my mind I kept thinking, "How in the world did you guys get hired?!" I know. I know. I must seem like such a bitch and know-it-all, but, really, I'm talking about simple things they should know. Or if they don't, they could just fucking Google it and try to understand what the search results throw at them. That's what I do. And I've been good at it so far. It's not a rocket scientist job, you know. I was mildly catatonic in the weeks after. I didn't feel like going to work most days, and I didn't. I spent the days feverishly looking up jobs and applying. Thankfully, I got a new job before the closure date came. I was safe. So that covers the job part. I don't think I ever got the chance to write about it because I was caught up in trying to survive live. In the first 8 months I've been here, my activities outside of work were my usual, meaning I did the same things I did in Manila. I watched movies, ate, checked out restaurants, shopped. The only difference is I did most of these things by myself. The college friend whose help I called on when I first came here wasn't someone I wanted to hang out with. A truth I discovered when I found myself becoming annoyed and irritated with her every time we were together. It got so bad that one time I walked out on her and her friends while we were all out drinking. I just could not stomach her ninniness and her penchant for making up stories (read: looking for trouble, horning in on other people's lives). Instead of feeling good, she made me want to punch her in the face all the time. And so I stopped hanging out with her. And then I also discovered that hanging out with me was not bad at all. To be honest, I was more happy being by myself. I continued to be by myself - I watched movies, shopped, and ate like I was a teenager. Then I got fat. And so I shopped for bigger clothes. But instead of making me feel better (hello, retail therapy), it made me feel dumpy. Which I was.  I decided to cut back on the stuff I was eating - a trick I did when I was younger. It worked before, I thought, so why not do the same thing, right? It would've been great had it worked again. It didn't occur to me to try something else though. At least not until it got difficult to buy pants. Nothing looked okay on me by that time so I decided to get some exercise.  I walked from work to home almost 3x a week. It still didn't help that much. I turned to google and looked for knitting groups. You must be like, what? How does knitting help? I'm getting there. Seriously, that's how it happened. I looked for knitting groups first because that's what I was interested in - obviously not for slimming down but for something else. And only when I got to meetup.com did I think about walking groups (the site suggested it to me after I ticked walking as an interest). And I found them - the Wandergruppe. I joined the first hike, which just about killed me and almost made me pee my pants. I didn't write about this, I think. I couldn't find any post about it. Since then, I've been to most of the walks that members of the group host. I've written about some of them, too. It's through the group that I met a couple of nice people. I hang out with one of them on a regular basis, and through him I've met other nice people. It's not just walks I do now. I've also been cycling. Of course my first time on the bike after many years of not being on one ended in a disaster, but it wasn't that bad that I could not imagine doing it again. And I went cycling again just last Sunday. I thoroughly enjoyed that one. So how do I find my life in Singapore now? It's been a roller coaster, for sure. I've never gone through the range of emotions I have in all the years I've been working. While I am used to living in the city, I am not used to Singaporeans and the other people that live here. Okay, it's mostly Singaporeans that I have a beef with. Indians, too (the imports). The city, by itself, is okay. It's the usual mall-restaurant sorta thing. That's not new. I do like their transportation system. It's fantastic. I do wish for a Munich-type of schedule though. In Munich they tell you what time the bus is coming. I'm not sure if it's the same for other areas in Germany but I thought it was great. I knew what time to go to the bus stop to catch a bus. I didn't have to sit there and wait 15 minutes (or more) to get on one. Singapore should do this. I fail to see what prevents them from doing so. If Munich could do it, they should be able to as well. Oh, and one of the good things about Singapore is the nature reserve. The do have a lot of areas (parks) where you can walk. There are places for old people to walk on and ones for others who like challenges. Of course there's nothing like the Rocky Mountains or the Alps. But for a place this small, it's amazing they even have one. And it's like an hour away (maybe less) to the shopping districts and other urban establishments. Pretty amazing. I'm not sure I'll ever get used to Singaporeans. I know it sounds mean and all-encompassing, but I can't help it. THERE ARE nice and good mannered Singaporeans, but the horrible ones totally eclipse the good ones. It makes me wonder what they teach in the schools here. Good manners and right conduct are amiss. It's sad. I can't get used to their accent either and the mangled English they call Singlish. Most of the time, the English I hear spoken is ngongo sounding. It makes it hard to understand them. And I'm not deaf nor dumb you know, they're just not pronouncing it right. There's a difference. For example, heavy is h3-vi, not hay-vee. Red is r3d, not rayd. Hill is hill, not heew. That's how most of them say these words. It's ear bending. I should probably record some conversations on the train or bus so you'd get a feel for how they make my ears bleed. There's a million other words they totally fuck up but it would take a lifetime to write them down. I probably haven't encountered more than half of it. Enough bashing. The other part of my life that I have not gotten around to sharing is still rather private. I've been happy, super happy, sad, mental, and then happy again. It's worse than a roller coaster. But better because I'm happy. I've had a lot more growing up to do since coming here. And it's a work in progress. I learn, I adjust, and I... bash. Just kidding! I seriously try to be more understanding. I've learned that some things are just the way they are. To try to wrap your mind around it is like trying to electrocute yourself. It is just how it is. Don't get bent or bend, just live. You know, for all my bashing and ceaseless complaints, I think I'm staying.

What not...

To do in the kitchen: Do not ever, EVER let me catch you doing this. Because I swear to God I will take out my machete and chop you to pieces. Guess whose handiwork this is, by the way? Why can't people be more clean and orderly when working in the kitchen? Who wants to do the laborious task of cleaning up, that is, picking up every little thing that's on the counters and on the floor?! I don't get it. Oh, and on a completely unrelated note - I had a complete WTF encounter. The phone's been ringing incessantly - she's in the kitchen and she does not pick it up. *imagine me with flames coming out of my nostrils and ears* I go outside my room intending to answer the damn phone and then she says to me, Kailangan ko bang sagutin 'to? (Do I have to pick up this call?) WHAT. THE. FUCK?! I almost face palm myself in front of her. I mean, seriously - WHAT. THE. FUCK?!

It ' s not all that bad

I know I rant a lot about my flatmates. Please don't let that mislead you into thinking that they're horrible, horrible people because they're not. They do have their redeeming qualities, and it's just no fun to talk about that most of the time. Hahaha. Well, I'm paying them a tribute today because I feel like being nice. They're nice, considerate boys most of the time. I feel especially touched when Fred walks to my side where the oncoming cars are whenever we cross streets. I've only gotten that treatment from my dad and a couple of older people, but not from friends. I think it's nice he does this. It shows his concern and old-fashioned values I suppose. The bills for utilities, cable, and internet services are in their names, so when it comes they just pay it and list how much each person's share is. And they're not strict with when they want the money to be transferred to their accounts. If I were living with girls, I'm sure there would be a schedule for these things. They always tell me it's okay to get food or whatever from their stash. Sometimes when I need a battery or a bit of milk for coffee, I would get from their stock and then tell them after. I would always say I would replace what I got, but they would also always say that it was okay. That I don't have to replace it. I don't ever hear anything bad from them. If they're pissed, they must keep it to themselves because I never hear a peep. If something really important needs to be said and needs to be cascaded to everyone, they email it. And it's always a nice, polite email. You would most definitely not have this kind of treatment from girls. Most of the time anyway. Girls are just too snarky. If you were to ask me who I like the most, I would have to say Fred. He's the nicest of them all. He's friendly, engaging, polite, and funny. He has balls, too.

Pulau Ubin

I was sort of excited to blog about the hike in Pulau Ubin today, and blog about the first time I was in Pulau Ubin. But my connection to our wireless network is iffy. I waited a darn long time for the connection to get to the point where my site would actually load. And now that the site's loaded (I have no idea how long it will take to publish this), I'm too tired and sleepy to blog. Effffffff. I intend for this to be a placeholder just to remind myself that I need to write. I have to write to commit this memory to the Intarwebs. I realize that creating drafts doesn't work for me. You won't believe how many drafts I have. I've probably forgotten what I wanted to write then so those drafts are just going to have to stay in limbo. Okay, let's begin. I showed you pics of my first time in Pulau Ubin, right? If I haven't, well, remind me. I know I showed you guys the video of the wild boar that kept coming closer - turns out it was me who kept going closer to the boar. Hahaha! I realized how idiotic I must have been taking that vid and saying the boar is coming closer when all the while it was me that kept walking closer to it. I must have been on drugs that day. Or it could have been the sun beating down my head, my neck, my arms... affecting my thinking. That day was super sunshiney. I remember walking along the boardwalk and marveling at the breeze and how calm and peaceful it made me feel to sit there and listen to the waves as they crashed against the rocks. Truth be told, I could have kept sitting there forever. But I was with someone who would have probably died of boredom if I sat there till forever. He would either die of boredom or just plain leave. Hahaha! Both prospects didn't sound good to me so I made us get up and continue walking. At least I think it was me who made us continue walking. This is starting to sound like a dream because I know in the past I would have chosen to be left alone than to continue walking in the hot, sweltering sun. Damn the sun. I swear it's my arch enemy. At one point during the walk, we chanced on a quarry. That, I have to say, was beautiful. It was like a lake with clear and still blue waters. Seeing as it was so hot, I considered chucking my clothes and heading straight for the water. Seriously. Never mind that there was a huge red sign saying we're not allowed to set foot in that area. It never happened, don't worry. No one lost their sense of sight because sanity returned and I did not strip. :-) Someday I might. And someday you might read about it here. Eeep. And someday I might lose what little readership I have here. I managed to get out of Pulau Ubin (it's a small island off northeastern Singapore, I think) without getting my skin burned off. I enjoyed the walk very much. Who knew I would even consider walking at noon?! I tell you, I was on drugs. So today I find myself in Pulau Ubin again. I wasn't sure what made me suggest Pulau Ubin. I'm not even sure why we were going to check out Celestial Resort. That's what we did. The fun started with someone having this very bright idea of getting off at Punggol MRT and taking a bus or cab from there. First let me say that the first time we went to Pulau Ubin, we took separate buses from our places to Changi Village, the meeting place. I'm not sure where Punggol is because I'm just lousy at geography, but I know that first time I was on a bus on the eastern part of town. We decided to meet in Little India today to have a breakfast of masala dhosai, which is always a treat for me. You know, it really surprises me to find myself eating Indian food. Filipinos who have never had real Indian food have absurd preconceptions about it. I remember getting into short discussions with my family about how it's spicy and how it makes you stink so bad. It was that kind of talk that contributed to my prejudice about Indian food. I seriously never thought I would eat it someday. The very idea then would turn my stomach. Okay, now where was I? Good gawd, I hate it when all these thoughts run in my head, wanting to be said. I keep going one way and then the other. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, from Little India we took the train to Punggol station because of someone's "very bright" idea. It turns out Punggol is in some godforsaken area of Singapore where cabs are endangered vehicles. I don't know how many minutes we wasted looking for cabs and hailing ones that would not acknowledge our existence. Never mind the interminably long wait for the bus, which we finally boarded to get to Changi Village. And so we reached Pulau Ubin sometime noon. Again. I wonder if I'll ever walk this area when it isn't so abominably hot. :-) Hey, it rained sometime in the afternoon, which was okay, but certainly made the flies come out after the downpour. Ugh. Mosquitoes love me and I hate them with all my heart. So... Celestial Resort isn't that far a walk from the jetty. It wasn't spectacular (sorry, no pics), but it's not bad considering the kind of place Pulau Ubin is. We had a late lunch of sambal kangkong and curry chicken. The curry chicken was dry, so unlike the curry chicken I had at Queensway Shopping Center last night - you know, the one I raved that was so good? Hahaha. I know, I must have been really hungry then. I still stand by my word though. I'll just make sure to have that kind of curry chicken when I'm extremely hungry so it will always taste good. Hey, when I say the curry chicken was dry, I didn't mean the chicken meat was dry. It means it wasn't soupy/saucey. It was pretty good. The sambal kangkong was a huge serving, which of course pleased me to no end. The more kangkong, the better, I say. I thought the food was good. I even said that if my favorite place in Kembangan, where I go to get sambal kangkong, ever closed, I would go all this way just to get my sambal kangkong fix. Hehe. Exagg, I know. The food was so good that I finished off the rice - all of it. That's significant because I have been cutting down on rice. We then made our way back to the jetty, but like the last time, we saw something nice - a hornbill! H says this bird is rarely seen anymore because there's not a lot of them left. H doesn't know why this is so. We actually saw hornbills twice, but the first time I really couldn't make it out. The second occasion was better because I could clearly see its shape and form. It's a beautiful bird. It looks cartoonish - seriously. It really did look like someone drew it out of thin air because its features seem exaggerated - to me, okay? I'm not a bird person so when I saw it clearly for the first time, what came to mind was, "Hey, this is something I would see in cartoons!" After the walk, I had planned on going to Mustafa to check out some backpacks that I could use for work. But I was too lazy to take the time to walk there when I was already on the train home. Besides, I felt too sticky and uncomfortable - I just wanted to go home. So here I am, typing away thinking this will be a draft and that I would continue writing tomorrow. I guess I wasn't that sleepy. I might as well publish this already and forget about adding anything. Maybe. Hahaha. I have this habit of going back to posts and editing or adding some other things I'd forgotten.

Upper Peirce Reservoir Park to Bukit Timah Nature Reserve

Today I made good on my mission to finish a four-hour hike from Upper Peirce Reservoir Park to Bukit Timah Nature Reserve. But before I continue to tell you about the hike/walk, I must say the way they spell Peirce is so weird. What looks more natural to me is 'i' before 'e' --- PIERCE. Peirce just looks too weird --- and so wrong. Anyway, I hope this is not the name of an actual person because if it were, I'd like to smack his parents. Or her, if this Peirce with the oddly spelled name is a woman. Moving on... I was sort of late meeting the group. Meeting time was at 8:15, leave by 8:30. The organizer of the walk, Ann, is German. And you know how Germans are... I really did cut it close though. I made it just in time although I would have liked to have been there early. I should have known that getting breakfast (McNasty) would end up in the bathroom for a quick #2. Haha. TMI, I know. Just grin and bear it because this is my story. It is my pleasantly surprised pleasure to tell you that I enjoyed the hike --- really muddy trails, crossing wide pools of water, and all. Anyone who knows me, and I mean really knows me, knows that I have this thing about feet. Okay, maybe it's not really relevant information in this situation because my thing about feet is only really important when it comes to being in bed and sleeping. I think I blogged about this before, I'll look up the link to the post. So, what no one probably knows is that I have this thing about shoes. And my feet in the shoes. While I dislike getting my feet wet, what I dislike even more is getting mud on my shoes! I would like to think I'm the type of person who knows how to take care of her shoes. I take care of my shoes quite well that they last me years --- even the cheapy ones, I'll have you know. In this hike, I really did a number on my shoes. My shoes are in such bad shape right now that I am not even going to attempt to clean it, I think. (Might change my mind about this.) Even before we got through half of the trail, my feet were soaked. They felt like they were prunes inside my shoes. I went through mud (it wasn't real muddy, but it was mud all the same), soaked my feet in a bit of water while crossing wide pools (of water), and once I almost landed on my rear while walking as it was too slippery because of the --- you guessed it --- mud. The first time I stepped on the bloody mud, there was no going back. There was no use complaining because most of the trail in Upper Peirce was bloody muddy. I just didn't care about my shoes anymore. I forged ahead and just enjoyed the walk. I loved the soft ground. In some parts of the trail, there were these sand-like things. I liked hearing the crunchy sound as I made my way through it. It felt like being on the beach with stupid running shoes on. Okay, a beach with sand that's a bit coarser than real sand. These things must have been something like ground pebbles. It was very nice to walk on them actually. I prefer slushy leaves and soft, muddy ground than a path with sharp, jagged rocks strewn all over it. We made it out of Upper Peirce fine. But by the time we got to the start of the walk in an area in Bukit Timah Nature Reserve, we were quite tired. Or at least I was. You know me, I tire very easily. It also didn't help that we encountered a lot of these stupid hardcore bikers. These guys go very fast sometimes that you have to be very alert so you can immediately jump to the side to avoid a head-on collision. Seriously, I don't know what kind of drugs these guys are on but they are just really out of their minds. The trail we followed (the biking trail) was strewn with branches --- not twigs, branches --- and some were just impassable by bike (to my mind) because the path was blocked with huge trunks, one on top of the other. But guess what, the idiots still go over it. We even encountered two cyclists on unicycles! Australians --- they're something else. First it's their weird version of soccer, and now it's unicycling on a non-plain path. At a time when it was pouring real hard. Un-freaking-believable. Hoooooookaaaaay, I'm going off track now. But I gotta tell you about this first. These two Aussies that were on unicycles were really crazy. They tried to do some foolish things on slippery, steep ground. One of the guys fell twice, the second fall was quite bad I would say. I felt real bad for him. He could have done some major, major damage to a very important part of his anatomy. Of course if he didn't care to have kids or disliked sex very much, I suppose it would have been okay. Hahaha! Well, the long and short of the Bukit Timah part was that we made it out. We were maybe halfway through the trail going to the Visitor's Center when it started pouring REALLY HARD. And I mean REALLY HARD.  We were soaked! My panties, my sports bra, my shirt, my shorts WERE SOAKED. It's a miracle my iPhone wasn't damaged as I had it in my front pocket. I also did something I never would have done were I not soaked to my boobies --- I peed in... okay it wasn't even behind a bush, it was behind Heiko, with him looking out for pervs. To my back were a bunch of plants, and to my left and right were nothing but open space and grass. People could just walk by or cycle by and see me peeing. Hahaha! But pee I did because I didn't think I could hold it in all the way to the Visitor's Center. And when you're really soaked to your balun-balunan (what is this in English?!), you don't really care anymore where you do your business. I think if I had to #2, I would have been able to do it. Yes - I really believe I would have been able to. :-P What I did not like about the Bukit Timah portion was the rock-strewn trail. It did a number on my knees and feet. My feet hurt so bad Heiko had to tell the rest of the group not to wait for us anymore because I was really going to have to take it slow. And I mean S.........L..............O................WWWWW. Yes, SLOW. We exited Bukit Timah through another road --- we didn't go to the Visitor's Center anymore. Then we took a freezing long-ass ride on the bus. Heiko, the poor thing, froze his ass off in the bus. He didn't change his shirt, which was soaked, not to mention his pants, equally soaked. I got out of my wet shirt (I stripped to my sports bra in the middle of the road) and changed into a dry one. Thank God I did because I don't know if I could have survived that bus ride to Little India. We thought we'd get Masala Dhosai at Little India but I really was in too much pain to walk the distance to this place we usually get it from. There was a place near the MRT station but he says the service there is incredibly slow. It was already about 2 in the afternoon when we got there and we decided we wouldn't be able to stand the long wait. We just went to Serangoon and had McNasty barjers and fries (ugh, twice in a day McNasty for me). It was a wonderful day that started great and ended even better --- even if I am in a little bit of pain right now. I've probably been sitting here a good 30 minutes typing this entry. You can bet that when I get off my ass to get my laundry from the drier, I'm going to be hobbling worse than a lola (grandma) with arthritis. My muscles have frozen in place and they won't like it if I unfreeze them. :-) For photos, please check my Facebook. I'll be putting them up there.

All good and bad

We're all good now. I finally did tell him what got me so upset yesterday. As before, it didn't seem that bad to open myself to him. I always dread letting other people know, especially if it's the opposite sex and one that I care about, what I think and how I feel --- and I mean what I really think and feel. I'm always uneasy about the idea of exposing myself emotionally. I don't know why. When I write my thoughts here, it doesn't seem all that bad. Maybe because I can't see your reactions --- rolling eyes, raised eyebrows, downturned lips, face palms... you know. Because I cannot see your reactions, expressing myself does not bother me as much. It's very different if I have to look at you or have you look at me as I'm sharing my innermost thoughts and feelings. This really isn't that big a deal. It only is when I'm relating to a man. You know how bad I am at it and how unlucky I have been. Can you blame me for feeling apprehensive about sharing myself with a man? Okay, enough talk about men and feelings. So everything seems to be broken in the house. The fridge is hardly working. I don't know why. Some idiot burned something in the electric oven. And now the washing machine is broken. It won't go through any of the cycles. I think it's because Pam (Jeff's girlfriend) overloaded it last night. She was the last one to use it and she said it stopped working last night. Jayson and I last used it on Wednesday. I found out it was broken today when I tried to use it. To use it, it meant having to remove Pam's and Jeff's clothes from the washer. Yes, they apparently wash their clothes together. They don't sort their clothes either. She even has her bras together with everything else --- bath towel, his work pants, badminton shorts, etc. Yuck. Anyway, I couldn't use it so I had to rinse out my clothes by hand and hang them dry. I could not have used the drier anyway coz my clothes were all sopping wet. Yes --- even after I had wrung them out. I'm not that good at wringing out water. Sigh. How much is this gonna cost us now?  

Some weekend this is turning out to be

Do you mind if I speak to you right now about how irritated I am with my flatmates? Well, I am not going to wait for you to give me the go-ahead, so here it goes. I am irritated with the little things in the house. When they wash dishes, the counters are so wet! They do not bother to wipe up after they're done washing. The strainer in the sinks are always filled with stuff. It irritates the shit out of me coz I always have to take out the strainer and throw away the gunk so I can use the sink. They leave things wherever and not keep them somewhere where they are not an eyesore. I thought about sending them an email about a few basic housekeeping "things to remember." I have not had the chance to write it. I am thinking whether I should or if I should just speak to them. The problem with speaking to them is they will see my facial expressions and they will know how thoroughly displeased I am about the current state of affairs. I do not want a house like the last one they lived in for 3 years! I told myself (and my mom) that I will take it upon myself to do the cleaning (even if it kills me) because I really do not want a filthy house. Maintaining is easy if cleaning is done regularly. It is when you let things fall apart that is difficult to remedy.  That is what happened to the house we left. But I also know that I will grumble if this goes on. I will get tired of always being the one to clean and pick up after them. I am torn about what to do! :-( I have only finished wiping the furniture. I have yet to vacuum the floors. I do not understand why my bedroom always has a lot of dust bunnies. I do not get it! I always keep my door closed and rarely open the windows so I do not see where these dust and dust bunnies are coming from. So annoying. The good news is the later part of the day will be nice because H is coming over to hang out with me. He is trying to convince me to join the hike on Saturday from Lower Peirce to Bukit Timah. I want to but he says the trail may be muddy. I don't have waterproof shoes! I might go to this store that he says sells sporting gear. They have good deals. I do need better walking shoes because my current ones are running shoes, and they hurt my feet all the time during hikes/walks.

So much for the trial " separation "

It's the funniest thing. I suggested that we try not seeing each other for days at a time and what do you know, after one day we see each other again. Sigh. This is not good. Hahaha. He said, "You know, this separation thing is a failure. Let's try again next week." Yah-huh --- right. LOL

Third day at the new place

It's been an exhausting weekend. I woke up feeling dizzy and vomitty so I called in sick and slept in. I really hate packing. Be it for trips or moving houses. It's one of the most awful, taxing things to do! Besides the packing and unpacking, there's the settling in. Gotta get used to a new bedroom (bigger and nicer if I may say so). I like our living area better too. And I like that I can use dryer sheets again. Hahaha. Must minimize dryer use though. Gotta watch our power consumption. I had to buy a comforter this time because my old blankets are not cutting it for me anymore. I've spent so much money to get the place and the new stuff, it makes me cringe. I'm taking a break right now from putting my clothes away. So hungry too.